Marshal says to me when I get there. �You know the best man has to do the FIRST toast right.�

FUCK!

This is were things get fun.

So I Sneak off wile no one�s looking and work up a healthy intoxication. I manage to stumble my way thorough the wedding ceremony, and completely blotch the reading I was assigned. When it finally comes time for my toast I decide instead to launch into a completely fabricated, long winded story about me and Marshal drunkenly breaking into a building, and getting stuck inside of it. I casually work in some sort of romantic soliloquy that Marshal allegedly made, and closed with, �so this toast is to true love in the face of death, danger, and extreme intoxication.� At which point I finish the bottle of Champaign I�m supposed to be poring into other people�s glasses, and smile widely at all the brides� rich ass yuppie family, whom are very much not smiling back.

Kenneth: 1
The Universe: 0