2005-10-26 at 12:14 p.m.
No one knew her well, but that mattered little, after all friends were a necessity, and she filled the slot nicely. Ben had gone to high school with her but rarely communicated. I had just met her a few days before, during a fuzzy weekend, in which we got drunk, slept together, and agreed to store, said memories, under the� crazy things we did when we were young heading.� So, naturally, marshal saw no problem when I volunteered her house as the base camp for the drinking we so desperately hoped would commence latter in the evening.
I was 18, Marshal was older, but not enough to make the procuring of booze less of a hassle. We sat out towards the head shop looking for bums to do the beer buying, and dispatched Ben to forewarn Victoria of our plans for her apartment.
We found our beloved Pipe Dreams bum-less, and reverted to begging passers by to buy our alcohol. Things weren�t going well at first, but a light emerged, two girls. They were obviously not 21 and in retrospect �Will you buy me beer� isn�t the strongest pickup line I�ve ever heard, but I had a lot of practice with that phrase so I used it. Much to my surprise instead of offers of oral sex, or at least an answer to my beer problems they just looked at me like I was stupid, and walked right into the head shop.
Marshal Laughed at me.
Have you ever had something so cool happen to you that deep down you know it was out of your range of coolness, SO awesome that the gods of all that is goodness would surely punish you for accepting? Well when Jen and Carry came back out of that Pipe Dreams, and told us that if we wanted to go with them there friend would surely buy us beer, deep down I knew that was what was going on. Regardless there was not one ounce of hesitation as marshal and I gleefully accepted, and piled into the early 90�s Honda Civic.
They were amazing. Jen was blond and poetic, wile Carry Liked old school punk and hard drugs. I�ve never been a ladies man but I damn sure tried my hardest that night. �This is it, Cole.� I thought to myself. �You�ve picked up hot chicks now close the deal.�
So I casually invited them to hang out with us, and drink our beer, and they excitedly accepted.
I guess there is a god.
So I did the only intelligent thing I could think of. I called Ben, informed him of the new developments, and told him that not only did he have to get Victoria to ok us drinking at her apartment, but also had to get her to ok us bringing two strange girls. I then hung up before he could respond. Good luck Ben!
I figured Ben was resourceful and even if he wasn�t I could just show up and then she couldn�t say no� right?
As we unloaded our expansive collection of beer, and ever clear into Victoria�s house, without knocking, of course, I smiled widely in hopes that the dimples of a chubby boy would ward of the oh so deserved anger of a girl who�s house had just been invaded.
My smile melted along with everything else as her massive 30 year old boyfriend ( By the way Victoria has a boyfriend of 6 months ) appeared proclaiming � O Cole I�ve heard a lot about you.� with a less than pleased smile. �So this is how it ends.� I thought to myself.
Like all good stories even this one has a whole in the plot that just fails to make sense. This story�s goes as follows:
Victoria appears cheerfully from out of her room, locked the door behind her, paid no notice to the girls packing away various intoxicants into her fridge, and states �Hey Cole I�m going to my boyfriend house for a few days you guys can hang out here tonight.� And then she left.
Once again, way out of my coolness league.
I was baffled for a moment, but soon enough the girls were mixing me drinks, and the story�s inconsistencies took a back seat unabashed awesomeness�.
To this day I believe that night was probably the best night of my life. Nothing amazing happened really, we just did drugs, and listened to our music like only the most inconsiderate of apartment renters would. Jen sung to me, and Carry spent 4 hours relaying her complex opinions on rock music to me. The five of us passed out around sun up, and the world was a good place.
In the morning that followed it was decided that we could think of nothing better to do with our oncoming night than repeat the activities of the night before.
We broke huddle at roughly 3 in the afternoon. Marshal called is dad, I sold plasma, Ben stole something, and before long we had appropriated the finances necessary to become completely and utterly drunk.
The socializing began at sundown, but things were different this time. Pleasantries had long since been exchanged and we were getting down to business in only the most rock star of fashions. Harder drugs were ingested and random weirdoes were invited in. White lines littered the tables only to disappear only to be produced again only to disappear again. Bottles emptied, joints passed around, and the night carried on as such in a generally unacceptable manner, until it finally came to a climax of outrageous sex filled drug coated social gatherings� And then Victoria walked in.
Her smile was wide, and fake, and screamed �What the fuck have you done to my house.� But all she said was. �Hey guys�
She came in made a drink and did the only thing a women could do, the only truly reasonable thing, the thing more people in this world should have the sense to do. She blatantly came onto me. I can only assume this was to mark her territory from what she latter titled �those stupid skanks that were so graciously dancing on my table when I got home.�
At the time I saw this as a positive turn of events, but Carry who apparently had taken a likening t me did not, and she felt no shame in making her opinions known, via phrases like � you r about 3 seconds from getting your slutty head kicked in.�
It was at this moment I realized a threesome was out of the question, but hey at least I could have my pick.
My friend marshal separated the girls (before even one article of clothing was ripped off might I add) and took Victoria for a walk to calm the mood. Meanwhile I dealt with a now crying Carry. I told her she had nothing to be jealous of and before long we were attached at the lips. My hand moved for her lap, but was stopped �fuck!� it thought to myself. But was relived when she moved the beer can from between her legs and remarked �as long as you�re not going for this we wont have a problem.�
I was in love.
We finished off the everclear, picked the lock to victories room, and proceeded to have the most intense drunken sex right there on her bed, stopping periodically to down one of the many half full beer cans that littered the night stand.
And then Victoria came back.
I don�t remember much of what happens next. I remember Victoria demanding �everyone leave except Cole� I remember Marshal and Ben putting up no fight and darting out the door as I sheepishly waited to be devoured for my sins. I remember a few especially painful slaps to the face. I remember escaping out the front door wearing far too few clothes. I remember being chased through and apartment complex amidst screams like �You fat little whore how could you do this to me.�
I remember above all getting the very distinct impression that Victoria was not at all happy about me fucking another girl in her bed.